Picking up the pieces and living again after divorce can appear to be an impossible feat to accomplish. Whether it’s amicable or tumultuous, the days leading up to, during and following the decision to dissolve the union can take an incredible toll, mentally/emotionally and physically. The good news is that there is life after divorce. That life will be what you make it.
Marriages end for a variety of reasons. They can end after short periods or they can crumble after many, many years. Divorce can be the result of infidelity, abuse, incompatibility or a host of other reasons. When there are children involved, regardless of their ages, the trauma can increase on a much greater level. Many times, children believe that the separation and the ensuing divorce is their fault. Marital dissolution has a ripple affect that can span far deeper than one can imagine.
Children can suffer greatly during the process of divorce. Although there may be obvious, glaring signs that point to the reasons a marriage is ending, many times, children are only aware that their home is in a state of chaos. They come to realize that they are going to live with one parent, either 50% of the time or some other percentage that represents everything new and different. They may feel like they have to take sides. They may feel that they are letting one parent down by wanting to live with the other. Young children have an especially hard time comprehending that these are adult matters. Teenage children will often try to “fix” the situation. Adult children can be equally traumatized as they wonder what will become of their parents “without” each other.
Regardless of the age of the child or children, they need to be reassured that they will continue to be loved unconditionally by both parents.
Taking Care of the Mind
The entire process of divorce can be taxing, to say the least. Talk to someone, whether its family, friends, your religious establishment or a professional. Often times, speaking a thing and actually hearing it out loud will allow you to see the situation for what it really is. Never be ashamed of needing help during this time. Resources are readily available so utilize them.
Regroup, Reset, Re-do
Although divorce represents a dissolution, it can also serve as a period of rebuilding, re-doing, and renovating. Perhaps now is the time to relocate to that city you’ve always wanted to live in. Maybe now is the time to change careers. Turn that long-time hobby into a money-making venture. Travel to all those places you said you would. Make it a solo venture or bring the crew. Just do it!
NOT the end
Life doesn’t end with divorce. Time heals. Take all that you need but don’t let it get away from you. Live life and live it on purpose!